Miniseries about negative feelings - Part 2: Fear
The movie "Bridge of Spies" by Steven Spielberg takes place during the Cold War and starts with the arrest of a Russian spy (Mark Rylance) in America. In the process of the film he is confronted with the fact that the Americans want to see him on the electric chair. Since he accepts this in a very calm way, his lawyer and negotiator (Tom Hanks) asks him if this would not alarm him. The spy asks: "Would it help?"
Everybody's afraid of something
My opinion: No, it usually doesn't help at all. On the contrary. We're all scared. Fear of spiders, height, diseases or the future. Fear for the children, the job, the parents or the social status. Fear of not being loved or liked. Fear is everywhere. Fear leads to anger and aggression, to retreat and depression, to flight or resignation. And again, does that help? I'm sticking with i: Most of the time it doesn't help. Fear has its meaning when flight or fight is inevitable. When the sabre-toothed tiger stood in front of the Neanderthal man, the sense of fear had its evolutionary climax. Today, it is usually just annoying and leads us to go through life restrained and limited.
If an employee doesn't go to the boss with bad news because he or she is afraid of a negative reaction, it's bad. The boss is the problem here, because you shouldn't be afraid of superiors. If someone does not dare to tell a friend an uncomfortable truth, out of fear of rejection or social exclusion, maybe the friendship is not worth much anyway. Friends shouldn't be afraid to tell each other anything uncomfortable. If someone does not dare to discuss a difficult topic with his partner for fear of being ignored or abandoned, this is not helpful. If the partner does not appreciate openness and courage, love seems to be lost.
The true cause of fear is usually subtle
The problem is often that the true fear or origin of fear is subtle and has been acquired a long time ago. When I think about my own fears, they are often rooted somewhere in my childhood. But what I do better and better is to make myself aware of the real reason for fear at the right moment and to recognize it in such a way that it usually has nothing to do with the actual situation and does not help in this situation.
What do you think? Let me know!